With the temperature in the single digits here in Vermont, lately I’ve been hiding out at my house even more than usual. Blame it on my homebody personality, or my thin blood, but either way I suspect I’m starting to look like Ed Sullivan from slouching at my desk for hours on end, partly to conserve body heat, and partly because my computer screen is about six-inches too low. But I can’t be bothered with ergonomics or vanity at the moment. I’m addicted to reading e-mail.
Every day a slew of new “Confirmation Forms” arrives in my in-box from women who have generously agreed to be day diarists in the book project. Stephanie, a firefighter from Ohio who plays women’s pro football. Donna from Baton Rouge, who put her business of 20 years on hold to help families recover from Hurricane Katrina. Sarah, an educator at an aquarium who would scuba dive every week if she could.
I pour over the responses these women offer to the questions on the form: What do you like best (or least) about your job? What activities or interests are important to you? What is the most important thing you’d like others to understand about you? Glenna, a school secretary from Nebraska, sends out 150 Christmas cards each year. Sarah disposes of explosives for the military and enjoys the theater. Sally, a chief medical examiner from Washington, loves her job, but doesn’t always like being the boss. “Sometimes, I would rather just do autopsies…”
Here I sit, day after day, bundled in my balding, brown, fleece pullover, a woman of few talents, many fears, and no interest in skiing or scrap-booking, or cutting up corpses and weighing their organs. Yet, thanks to this book project, I am living vicariously hundreds of lives. I know the thrill of designing roller coasters, and the downside of being a bra fit specialist (Bridezillas). I understand what it takes to be a missile analyst in Alabama, and I know the fun of being an underground crusher operator in Missouri, skipping the rocks to the surface.
My world has opened up. Every day, I am learning new things. I am getting to know remarkable women who are making a difference and doing cool things. Ellen, a Girl Scout leader from Hawaii; Angie, a celebrity supermodel; Laurel, an oncology social worker who studies religious scripture and mysticism. Why leave the house; why leave my desk when milliners, executive assistants, shark wranglers, video game designers, world-class opera singers, church secretaries, erotic photographers, truck drivers, Army Reserve specialists, professional organizers, ranchers, and VPs of major corporations all come to me in the form of an e-mail.
What is the most important thing you’d like others to understand about you? I read the response from Lana, a 64-year-old program coordinator at a women’s rescue mission in Montana. She writes, “I am happier than I have ever been. I am living the best part of my life right now!” Yes! Yes, Lana! I raise my mug of cold coffee in a gesture of solidarity. I know just how you feel! I really do! Then I hunch myself deeper in my balding, fleece pullover, and I wait for the next Confirmation Form to appear in my in-box.
-Joni
